The Fenbi International Superstars

November 5th

2010-10-31T13:17:00.001-07:00

I hate to admit that we forgot we had this account set up! Such is life when a demanding 9-5 job becomes the norm (as we attest to in our song 'Fenbi Theme.'

I want to take a moment to make note of our CD release performance Friday, November 5th at the Ash Street Saloon in downtown Portland. Doors open at 9 p.m. and we perform with AnnaPaul and the Bearded Lady and the Tomorrow People ... both are very talented bands.

Also worth noting - it's Guy Faux Day (sp?) - so bring your masks, or your gypsy outfits, and make sure to bring your dancing shoes and any single lady friends who need to be ... errr ... ah ... yeah.

Also, check our perfectly Halloweeny music video for Two Miles From Home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kagk5njZCZQ

See you on Friday at the Ash Street Saloon!

rebranding the band

2009-09-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Exhaustion.

For the better part of the last year our band has focused more on playing 2 hr+ gigs, whereas before we had been performing one hour gigs with 3-4 other bands on a given night. I can't do this on top of a normal job, where they expect me to come in and function the following morning. I could as a delivery driver, but not in PR.

Last week we performed two gigs (on top of heading to the Flogging Molly show Tuesday night). There is no doubt in my mind that all that effort on top of my 40+ hour work week has contributed to the flu I am suffering through right now. It's called burning the midnight oil, friends. The fellas and I have been talking, and I think we are halting our weekday marathon Fenbi gigs indefinitely.

New Direction

The reality has not been lost on us, that when we launch into OUR songs you start singing along to the words and jump and dance and get out of control really fast. You don't do that with our cover songs. Which is refreshing. Yet sadly, covers have become more than 50% of our show.

We are going to go with your energy. Your subtle message to us.

We are halting our weekday gigs, will put more effort towards finishing our debut album (which is sounding great), write new songs, and will be putting on weekend shows from here on out. Less than one per month. And when I am talking shows, I mean mini-festivals. Costumes, antics, freaks & geeks, you name it. A different theme every week. It will be a chance for friends to contribute their creativity into the mix. If you have ideas, thoughts, suggestions, or want to volunteer to lend a hand to create some magic let me know. Do you design costumes? Can you make killer props? Can you play trumpet or trombone or tuba? Can you dance in a weird Baba Yaga costume as we perform?

Anything, let me know. I think we're too late for October, so let's try for November.

Where should we do the CD release show?

notes from the recording studio

2009-08-30T14:11:00.001-07:00

Mike and I (this is Todd speaking. . .err, writing) had a great recording session yesterday, despite the fact that I completely overslept and woke up to him knocking on my bedroom window at 12:30 in the afternoon. He walked over to Grand Central Bakery to get some coffee for us, and I got dressed and set up my recording equipment. We finished the vocals on "Two Miles From Home", and then tried various ways to fill some of the empty spaces in the song.

We tried some keyboard parts, but we decided right away that they sounded ridiculous and inappropriate, so I pulled out my guitar and amp and tried some feedback and weirdness instead. That stuff will be great, once it's edited, and chopped, and placed in just the right moments. Mike suggested an ethereal keyboard sound like the one at the beginning of the Elliott Smith song "Angeles", so we listened to that and I said, "Hey, it sounds like when you run your finger around the rim of a wine glass," so we grabbed every different kind of glass I own and spent the next half hour trying every variation we could. We played each one separately, we tried two at a time, and we tried playing multiple glasses at once. We even tried splashing our fingers around in the water in the glasses. We thought we were geniuses until we listened back to the tracks, and cracked up laughing at the results. The water splashing just sounded like someone urinating. It wasn't exactly the ominous soundscape we were hoping for. We scrapped all that stuff, and decided that maybe the song is good as is. Just because there's empty space doesn't mean it has to be filled all the time. Silence is golden, et cetera.

From there, we moved on to "The Perils of Drink," which now has a really good vocal track on it, and is shaping up quite nicely as a pastiche, thanks to Mike's line describing how Orion ran down the street screaming old Beatles songs. I took that idea and ran with it, so we used "We Can Work It Out" (part of which is also a waltz, and is in the same key) as the inspiration for the instrumentation and overall sound of our song. We think you'll love it. FYI, we may be calling up some of you to ask for your help in singing along during the choruses. Just thought I'd put the word out.

After spending time with those songs again, I also have to say that Scotty absolutely ruled on his drum tracks, particularly on "Two Miles From Home." He totally set the tone for the feel of that song, and set the bar high for the rest of us. Hyper-super-ultra-mega kudos to Scotty.

That's the latest from Camp Fenbi about the progress of the recordings. More to come next weekend!

Folklife 2009

2009-05-25T23:11:00.001-07:00

Ok - so I know that most of my Seattle friends who come across this note may be insulted to learn that I went to Seattle without getting a hold of them. I am sorry - but I had official business and it's complicated.

Folklife 2009.

My fascination with gypsies began the year after graduating from college, in May of 2004. I was walking around Port Townsend’s local record store called Quimper Sound and spotted a CD with a gnarly woman smoking from a pipe on the cover. The CD was titled “World of Gypsies” and featured music from Hungary, Spain, Poland, Romania, Rajastan, Bulgaria, and several other countries.

This was a period of time in my life when rent was cheap and I could afford to spend money on frivolous bullshit, so I picked up the CD based solely upon the lady on the cover and took it home to check it out. The first track titled ‘On the Waves of the Balaton’ is by a Hungarian artist named Roby Lakatos, and immediately I was hooked. I don’t even know what the instrumentation is but it is one of the most amazing songs I have ever heard. It builds slowly with a beautiful violin piece - I like to picture a beautiful gypsy woman dancing in the trees ... it slowly picks up speed and turns into a ferocious beast with ascending scales, descending scales - all types of textures and various playing styles. I can't describe it - I give up - but it's awesome.

The CD led me to check out a Hungarian band called ‘Teka’ who was visiting Port Townsend via Hungary back in 2005. They played at the Upstage and it was one of the best concerts I have been to ... right up there with Radiohead and the Hives - I aint jokin' jack! Plus, it didn't hurt that the bagpiper was using a satanic looking air bag complete with carved goats heads! I find Hungarian music interesting because they appear to use shortened bows with really fat strands of horse hair (I could totally be making this up) and their music has a pulsating rhythm. Combine the rhythm with the modal scales used to create that edgy gypsy sound and I am in ethnomusicology heaven.

And wondering where all my friends went …

For the last 30-some-odd years Memorial Day weekend has meant the Folklife Festival in Seattle, and I was first introduced to it by my neighbors who had brought me over when I was in my early teens. My earliest memories involve wearing goggles into the hotel swimming pool to check out the ladies (hey, I was like 13).

Buuuuuut .... the first band I saw that I really enjoyed was called the Paperboys – who did Irish/Celtic/Mexican/Pop music. They still play around and come to Portland every so often. I guess they're big in Canada? There was also the Beatles cover band ‘The Seatles’ – who I checked out again this year. My, how they have aged in 14 years! One guy had to sit down even! They were all grumpy and acted as though they were sick of playing the same songs. However, the audience loved it and we sang along (me, among 500 aging hippies). I was also reintroduced to 'Norwegian Wood' which is now one of my favorite Beatles songs.

As an adult I have had some weird times at Folklife. Long gone are the hotels within walking distance and the free meals provided by my friend's parents. The wonderland image I had of Seattle has long shriveled away and I worry about where to park, and I get noxious and lost in the throngs of teenagers. I pay $7.50 for a tiny plate of pad thai made with ketchup - and I remind myself of the 'Horn of Africa' the following day.

In 2005, after breaking up with a girlfriend I decided I would go to Folklife to get away from Port Townsend. Despite my best efforts I couldn’t ‘trick’ anyone into joining me. Apparently saying there’ll be Ukrainian Folk Dancing, a fiddlers showcase, and English Country dancing wasn’t enough to entrance them. After spending an afternoon wandering around by myself surrounded by young lovers in love, I became depressed and ditched the festival to wander the streets of Seattle alone …

This year I used Folklife as a means to an end. And don’t get me wrong … I love Folklife and I have been trying to find someone who would go with me for years.

Friday after work I rushed home and jumped into my car desperate to beat traffic. It took me an hour and a half to go the seven miles from downtown PDX to the I-5 Bridge spanning the Columbia River. Apparently a sedan tried to cut off an 18-wheeler and was crushed.

After passing the accident and making it through the I-5 bottleneck I was driving upwards of 80 mph the rest of the way. I passed most of the time wondering what the f*** I was doing, or hoped to accomplish? In some respects I was an investigative journalist. I had a great lead on a story and had to return to Seattle for more research. The true trick was to stay objective.

I had finally made it to Seattle by 8 p.m. and went to the agreed upon location. When I saw my informant, my heart rolled down through my chest, past my stomach, through my quad, squeezed past my knee, shimmied down my calf, squirted past my ankle, and tumbled into my right shoe where I spent most of the night trying to casually stamp out the blazing fire raging within.

And that is all I am going to say about that ...

... blah blah blah ... stuff ... this and that ... okkkkkkk ... sleep!

When I awoke the next morning there was a terrier the size of a sewer rat on my pillow wearing a full-bodied pink hoodie, and it was licking me. If the hoodie didn't say princess, it probably should have.

At 9am I waved goodbye (to the puppy?) and spent the morning strolling through downtown and the Pike Place Market. By noon I made it back over to Folklife and planned out all the musical acts I wanted to see for the day. I saw some fantastic Italian music in the Bonnie Birch Band – complete with accordions, bass guitars, and tenor and baritone Opera singers.

I then wandered over and saw my precious gypsy music in the form of the Forras Hungarian Folk ensemble. As I watched the accompanying dance I started to wonder how I would have described this scene had anybody joined me.

“Oh … they don’t usually dress like that. Oh – those guys don’t usually do that. This is the first time I have ever seen this ... usually it's wayyyy cooler."

But secretly I am obsessed with other cultures. Hence Fenbi. And my world travel fantasies.

In Hungarian dance the women dress like Russian dolls, and the men wear black vests, white shirts, black pants and have black boots that go up to their knees (is the raging Tom Selleck a given?). The women dance in circles and make interesting and complex patterns with their arms - it's like ring around the rosey meets cats cradle.

However, the Hungarian men act like Orion and myself after we've had a couple extra drinks, sans the Velociraptor. They hop around with shit-eating-grins and slap their legs, feet, and play patty cake with one another. You can google it if you are really interested ... but I was there for the accompanying band. The Forras Hungarian Folk ensemble. They were brilliant and I wonder how we could get them to open for Fenbi??

Despite catching a set of Norwegian Folk Tunes and promising a folksy American band I would return for their set, by about 4pm I started to lose my thunder and I left the festival feeling slightly lonely.

The turn of events gave me the opportunity to drive down to 1st and Lander where I picked up an antique my mom had on layaway for the past 6 months.

When I brought it to her that evening she was so happy and I felt like a champ.

Gotta take care of the moms even when it's not mothers day!

Folklife 2009.

Smashing Pumpkins Archive Subscriptions???

2009-03-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

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I have to admit I was a late bloomer when it came to the rock band Smashing Pumpkins.

My earliest memory of their actual music was probably in '98 when my folks took me to Seattle to buy a PA system for my first band. 'Bullet With Butterfly Wings' came over the radio and I remember thinking the sound was a little 'grungy' for my taste. Keep in mind, when I was in high school I was listening to Herman's Hermits, The Hollies, The Kinks - basically the stuff hipsters listen to now ...

My other early experiences with the Smashing Pumpkins came from the kids wearing their tee-shirts who would also wear all black and have crazy black lipstick or white … blush? I don’t know make-up terminology. My buddy Ahren was also given an autographed napkin all five members of the band had signed.

At the time, I just didn’t care. I hadn’t jumped on board.

Yet something propelled me to purchase the album ‘Adore’ my freshman year of college. While other kids were off experimenting with sex and drugs, I was in the corner of some dark room tasting new music.

The release of Adore has the reputation among the SP elite to have immediately divided the flock. The hardcore enthusiasts were looking for something more like the earlier albums Gish or Siamese Dream whereas kids like me were discovering the band for the first time.

Adore soon became one of my favorite albums. I stopped listening to Herman’s Hermits – and I fell asleep listening to Adore almost every night for a year. The album is pure brilliance.

During the summer after my freshman year of college my roommate was leaving for Europe and needed to get some extra money for his trip. I had the fortune of taking advantage of his need for cash by purchasing his copies of the albums Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and Pisces Iscariot. They too became among my favorite albums. I moved to Gish and even bought a rare B-side compilation.
I bought Machina the day it came out, and when Zeitgeist came out in 2007 I bought it as well.

I remember the day. Scotty and I were on tour with our previous band (in Minneapolis several days before the bridge collapse I might add) and had hyped the album amongst ourselves for the 10 days proceeding the release date. We listened to the song Doomsday Clock over and over and tried desperately to get into the rest of the album. However Zeitgeist was a little extreme for my taste and I personally miss the more musical arrangements.

Adore continues to be the one that draws me back … the melodies … the memories … the rhythms … the dynamics … the lyrics … the places it takes me back to.

Yesterday I subscribed to the brand new Smashing Pumpkins newsletter. It has been created to communicate with fans regarding the tremendous task of going through their archives. I can only imagine how much material accumulates in 20+ years of creating and recording music.

They are considering starting a subscription service for the most hardy of their fans. For say, $300 per year, you could be among the first to hear unreleased tracks, live recordings, etc etc etc. I think this is a very creative way to market and promote your band in your music in the new economy – and in the advent of new social media technologies.

From Frank Quinta:

“I want to expand on Billy's idea of a subscription service that I mentioned in the blog. Going through and finding material that is suitable for release is a very in-depth process. The idea of a subscription service is where you can sign up for a yearly subscription, and in return you will receive a guaranteed number of tracks and releases. These releases will be from all eras of the band. Some items may not be up to the quality of a professional release, and may be rawer sounding. This could mean a track of the band rehearsing that might not sound good enough for the general population, but Billy might say that it would be good for the subscription service. We would put it up because that is the only version of that song. This is for the type of fan that is interested in getting unreleased live and studio tracks. This is the Holy Grail. One example is that you'll pay $300 for the subscription, and we'll give you 200 releases. For those of you who don't want to sign up for a subscription, we'll still sell some material to you, but the subscription members will get it first. If you don't want to purchase anything, we are also looking at distributing some material for free. Basically, if you want to get everything, you want to take a look at the subscription service.”

I will be interested to see how many people can afford a subscription? Will they entice people with a smaller monthly fee? Is there enough of a demand for these materials?

Regardless, I’m just excited because I read they might release an unfinished Adore documentary. For the album that started my long and wonderful relationship with the band Smashing Pumpkins, I welcome that release and I admire the creativity with which they approach this situation and the new climate in the recording industry.

For more information: http://www.smashingpumpkins.com/

The New Music-World Order ...

2009-03-10T20:53:00.001-07:00

As if there is any doubt as to what has happened to music in the wake of MP3's, I was in the kitchen washing dishes when I heard the familiar intro to one of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs titled 'Today.'

I turned around the nook and peered into the television and saw good ol' fashioned down to earth American images ... people working hard, fruit off the farm truck - I was starting to think they leased one of their songs to a non-profit organization. Alas, it was a commercial for VISA.

In the 90's this commercial would have been enough to get people on the streets with pitchforks and torches. They'd be hunkering down at SP headquarters and calling them sell outs. I wonder how this commercial makes the band feel? Do they care? Was it a hard decision?

I certainly doubt it. The music industry has changed to such a degree that licensing your music to a big corporation like VISA is just plain smart, and it is the way to go.

Does VISA tying the Smashing Pumpkins make me like their brand more? Not necessarily, but I must admit it pulls at my heartstrings a bit. However, VISA's problem isn't necessarily an image problem - it's the fact that they are selling me a predatory service, charging me ridiculous fees if I am a day late on my monthly payment (of which, the day seems to change from month to month), and giving me an interest rate that isn't in my best interest.

So marketing team of VISA who I am almost certain is reading this, kudos to you. I hope you paid the Smashing Pumpkins well.

And to the Smashing Pumpkins who may or may not have a social media monitoring team - thank you for all the great music and I wish you would come back to Portland, OR and put me on the guestlist +1 because I haven't had a decent job in years and wouldn't be able to afford a ticket if you came to town.

Rick Emerson is moving ...

2009-03-09T23:25:00.001-07:00

Well, well, well.

Today I have learned of some very interesting news. The Rick Emerson Show ... a Portland, OR staple and probably the finest thing to originate in this city since old growth trees - is moving on.

I had been hoping they would move to AM 620 ... but they moved to KUFO.

I have mixed feelings. Of course, it is a very exciting opportunity for all those involved ... Sarah X Dylan, Rick Emerson himself, and even Ritchie too. But the best part is that Tim Riley is coming back. I thought he was the greatest even before he was martyred in the wake of his firing.

But the Rick Emerson Show has been a great treat for me over the years. I have listened on and off for three years ... between stops on my delivery route ... between commercials on KNRK and pledge drives on OPB. It's a great show. It is like Seinfeld for nerds. I don't understand half of the crap they are talking about and often times when they get into comic book stuff I tune out.

Today they were talking about watching a bum pissing into a bottle outside their office window and I wished I could casually say into the mic "Must be a worker at the VISO packaging plant." Except I'd be murdered by them since VISO is a major sponsor. I tried it once ... I think I had a sugar-free version or something ... but my meager budget can't afford it and I am just not into that whole scene to begin with.

But other times they are the perfect distraction from my horribly mundane and underpaying job. Of which - I got my hours cut today for doing a "great job." Seriously ... I was thanked for all the leads I had generated in four short weeks, and then told that I created a lot of work for people to follow up on ... and was then told that I could go back to working in the warehouse stuffing envelopes until they came up with something else. Needless to say I clocked out early today ...

But moving on - I am not going to be able to listen to the Rick Emerson Show any more. This is a great career move and I hope they get past it as quickly as they can ... I hope they collect a ton more fans and sponsoring and success and I hope they turn into an afternoon show.

Let's face it ... PDX has NOTHING to offer in the afternoon. No offense everyone ... but I am sick of hearing Joy Division followed by Cake followed by Smells Like Teen Spirit on one station ... Enya followed by Keane followed by John Mayer on another station ... and a bunch of butt rock on the other. The oldies ... they are ok from time to time ... any other AM talkers are just shite. Sean Hannity and Rush and Mark Levine are the worst. I actually signed an underground petition that had over 275,000 signatures that said I would never support any sponsor of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, or Mark Levine.

I am going to end this blog by giving my top 5 Rick Emerson Show moments:

5. The Oscillating Fan Remix
4. Rick trying to convince the audience he didn't have an opinion in the last election
3. The announcement of the return of Tim Riley, and the move to KUFO
2. The departure of Tim Riley on December 8th?
1. Performing the 'Portland Theme Song' on air with a previous band

My Crazy Irish Dream ...

2009-03-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to bed reading the news about the shooting in the North of Ireland. It occurred in a town called Massereene ... I had never been there but the name rings a bell.

Apparently these two young British soldiers in their early 20's were ordering pizzas, and when the pizza delivery boys opened the door some members of the 'REAL IRA' - a dissident group - opened fire upon the soldiers. They also wounded the pizza delivery boys and then approached the soldiers laying on the ground and shot them execution style.

This is a tragic story for many reasons. First of all, those British kids were just doing what they were told. They were pawns of old fat British lawmakers clinging onto conservative ideals and delusions of the olden days. They were young. They were kids. They shouldn't have been killed.

On the same token, what the media is doing to the perpetrators of this crime is equally horrific. I think this story is being horribly and purposefully framed. The lazy news organizations around the entire world immediately start throwing the terrorism card around without giving us any real investigative journalism. Does anyone ask WHY these people might have shot two soldiers? Does anyone ask WHY British soldiers are in IRELAND? Or, is it just easier to accept it as the status quo ... and is it easier to label criminals and murderers as 'terrorists' because they are upsetting our status quo?

We don't know the full story yet folks.

For example, part of the REAL story is that the British had recently ordered a special unit into the area to spy on the local population.

I think killing and murder is the wrongest of the wrong - I don't care if it is under the guise of war or whatever. But irresponsible journalism is just as bad. And using the word 'terrorism' in situations like this only helps to support an entire system built on a house of cards, ie, the occupation of the North of Ireland.

Look at the picture I attached to this post. I found it attached to an article at CNN.com today. Go ahead and look at it. Versus showing a map of the globe and highlighting where the North of Ireland is located - the media WARP THE MAP to make it look as though the North of Ireland belongs to Britain. They lazily use Google Earth to create the map ... This is the mass media trying to distort reality in order to further the agenda of the British government.

Britain is solely responsible for this so called terrorism and the government should be ashamed for their part in the death of these two boys.

You'd think after so much history - especially that of the 20th century - Britain could have realized one country cannot occupy another country without angering the local population.

Think about recent history:

When America invaded Iraq our leaders told us our soldiers would be greeted as liberators ... with OPEN ARMS. If by open arms they meant 'our soldiers are going to be shot in the face and blown up' then Donny Rumsfeld and the rest of the Bush Administration hit the nail on the head!

When we invaded Afghanistan our leaders told us the population would be so grateful to be rid of the Taliban that we would be greeted with open arms. The Obama administration finally told us the truth which the Bush administration couldn't. WE ARE LOSING IN AFGHANISTAN TOO!

People ... Ireland is under occupation. I have no qualms about saying it. It doesn't matter that the land was seized 600 years ago during a dysphemistically named "War of the Roses." The fact is that while Britain has given over half the world back to their native peoples they remain with their claws sinking deeply into the North of Ireland. Is it proximity? Is it because Ireland has a smaller population and can't throw bodies at the issue as India had once done? It is both of those reasons, and more.

I admit - it is a complicated situation. There are people up in the North that WANT to remain loyal subjects of the British empire. But they are on the wrong side of history. We have seen this before ... the white people in the southern states of America who enacted the Jim Crow laws, for example. Boy, they wanted that PASSIONATELY ... but those bastards were on the WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.

There are approximately 15 million Irish-Americans in the United States. On St. Paddy's Day there are 300 million Irish-Americans ... it is time we come up with a real solution for that island ... and I think America has to be more involved and I think it is time we pressure Britain to do the right thing.

Pontification Station ...

2009-03-06T07:24:00.001-08:00

It's early and I am in the middle of my morning routine - a routine that has become quite nerdy.

I start out reading the headlines from CNN.com. Often times I check out the world section because I like to see what kind of politics are going on in Western Europe. I then go to Reuters to read about financial news (as written by Chinese and Indian interns) - I then go to the Seattle Times web site, the Port Townsend Leader online, sometimes the Irish Times and BBC ... but usually lastly the Oregonian just because I think it is a crap paper and their web site sucks.

But on CNN.com this morning there was an article by senior commentator Ed Rollins. It was his opinion on why the GOP Rush Limbaugh debate was idiotic. As he pointed out, the republican party has a dismal approval rating at this time and they need NEW ideas.

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY FOR YEARS!!!

To make things easy, here is my suggestion. If the republican party has an idea, they need to take that idea, think about it, and come up with the OPPOSITE of that idea and make THAT idea their party policy. For example, Bush Administration memos are now coming out that gave the military infinite search and seizure capabilities in regards to terrorism ... a complete slap in the face to the FOURTH AMENDMENT PEOPLE! They need to take the opposite on that policy.

According to bradycampaign.org - approximately 100,000 Americans are injured or killed by guns each year including 20,000 children. For years republicans have fought any effort to create stricter gun regulation claiming it would go against the 5th amendment. Yet we have seen that in practice they don't really give a shite about slapping amendments around the kitchen table so again, they need to take the OPPOSITE on that policy. In addition ... do they really think the founding fathers could have ever foreseen an era where mentally ill people would mow down citizens with automatic weapons on an all but monthly basis! I doubt George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, or Ben Franklin would have ever said "From my cold dead hands ..." (Aaron Burr might have?)

Finally, for years republicans have been denying global climate change. They see no need to change practices that decimate ecosystems ... clear cut forests, clog rivers with debris, drive cars that get 12 miles to the gallon.

They apparently cannot see the BIG picture ... you know, the one where acid rain falls or salmon returns die off setting off chain reactions or our fishing industry is on the verge of collapse in some parts of the world. Or perhaps the one where we give GM billions of dollars because they made big crappy cars for years and then TODAY claim they still may claim bankruptcy!!! What the F did you guys do with all that money?

Why is regulation bad fellas? If industry is allowed to regulate themselves they have ORGIES of spending, law breaking, lying ... and maybe real orgies too ... buuuut on the taxpayer dime!

I have been saying this for years people - the republican party is the party of jackasses. If you find yourself a little conservative ... say you think fiscal conservatism is good ... or you don't like abortions ... or you think there needs to be more morality in Washington - the republican and conservative movements are not for you ... I'm telling you ... you will only be disappointed!

Cheers.

24 Hour Fitness

2009-02-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

If you were just counting Orion and Scotty, we may have the most in-shape of all bands.

However, if you throw me into the mix you get a whiny putz with a hamstring injury that had been psyching me out for months.

During the period after my untimely soccer injury (during the holidays) I did not adjust my diet to accommodate the excess calories and lack of exercise. Quite the contrary. In fact, the popularity of our band may have directly contributed to my current obesity ... but that is just a price we pay for being invited to so many parties! And surely I can't be rude and refuse food and beer! As a matter of fact, I like to show just how overtly nice I am by eating and drinking (mostly drinking) everything in sight.

Fast forward a couple months and I am meandering down the street with my belly bouncing over my belt with each step - I am using one of those four pegged walkers with the tennis balls at the feet - which I had stolen from an old lady at the nearby Providence Hospital. My ass is hanging out of the back of my pants revealing a disheveled mass of butt-fur. I am a mess, I have diabetes, and plus in the past week my girlfriend, step-dad, and mom all (lovingly) squeezed that bit o' fat that has accumulated in a place most people might refer to it as "love handles."

I have a love belly too. Nevermind the sixpack, I am walking around with a full keg. Now that Oregon is considering increasing the beer tax by 1800% I figured it was high time I got a 24 hour fitness club membership to get rid of that excess keg, and hopefully save some money on taxes.

Actually, my girlfriend bought the membership and then told me I was going to pay for it.

But I digress ...

So I am slowly learning how to get back into the exercise program. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was a star athlete in high school. I mean, I played some soccer and scored a goal or two ... but I was admired more for my stamina than my actual skill. In fact, I was granted the 'energizer bunny' award multiple years in a row!

However, now I am a pathetic tub of lard. I have been slowly hitting up the 24 hour Fitness. A couple days a week. An hour at a time. The other day I wandered around for 10 minutes and couldn't find a single goddamned restroom so I messed my hair up like a cupid and pissed into the pool, hoping people would mistake me for a statue.

I would have gone tonight if I didn't contract this horrible cold that is clogging my lungs and making it hard to see through the tears welling up in my eyes. Furthermore, I can't even taste this wonderful Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer that is only continuing to contribute to my extreme obesity.

But I digress.

The real reason I came here to write this here post is because I was cruising around my hotmail inbox today and i got an offer from 24 Hour Fitness that I could not refuse. It was to start an account ... earn rewards points for exercising and finding information on their web site. Basically they are cleverly using social media technology ... they are joining the list of corporations creating expensive web sites designed to interact with people, provide a service, and get them to spend their valuable time searching their contents and perhaps spending money at their store. They are genius bastards. This is the type of work I wish I could be doing.

24 Hour Fitness PR Team/Advertising Agency, I know you are reading this blog ... I know I am just a number in some crazy analytics report ... we'll pretend it isn't spying if you hire me. How's that, kitten?

More exciting blogs about my exercise routine to come ... for now i shall drink myself to sleep ...

FENBI not FENDI

2009-02-25T18:27:00.003-08:00

(AS ADAPTED FROM A MYSPACE POST - www.myspace.com/fenbi)

I am trying something new ... versus posting blogs here on myspace I am reactivating our blogspot account ... let me know your thoughts ... if this is just a painfully annoying step or what?

The reason I am doing it is because I want people to be able to find more out about Fenbi via keywords I throw into blog entries. Most entries have certain keywords like "music" and "Portland" combined in nearby sentences so that google bots and yahoo spiders pick them up and increase our rankings in their search engine.

I just discovered the brand 'Fendi' is spending I don't know how much money to put their ridiculous fucking purses higher up in the search rankings than our band. Seriously, try it. Google "Fenbi" and see what happens! Fucking Fendi! I had never heard of their stupid brand and now they are hijacking ours! Course, if they offered a large enough cash settlement to shut me up ... say enough to record our debut record ... I would wear their purses to every show for a year!

At any rate, I should really repost this on our blog because I recently discovered the bots and spiders don't search myspace so I am all but wasting my time.

CASE POINT:

I wrote something about Dave's Killer Bread the other day ... awesome stuff if you haven't tried it ... and he wrote me an email the next day saying thanks! This is the new era in which we live people. Aint it grand?

www.fenbiinternational.blogspot.com

Sasquatch Music Festival

2009-02-25T18:01:00.000-08:00

Today I took a gander at the 2009 Sasquatch Music Festival roster and I nearly pissed me-self! What a hell-of-a-great line-up! The only thing missing-is-more-hyphens!

No! Just Kidding! The only thing missing is THE FENBI INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTARS!

Now, if any one is to blame for Fenbi not being as popular as Blitzen Trapper or The Shaky Hands or even the Builders and the Butchers it is probably me. I am the one that has been changing my ideas and thoughts about this recording process, versus just getting our album out there. We have a fantastic product ... the Fenbi brand has never been stronger ... we have people clamoring for our as-of-yet uncreated products ... and people from as far away as China are writing us letters of appreciation! (Side note, we only recently discovered "Fenbi" is the Chinese word for chalk and apparently if you get over 1 billion people some of them are going to be googling chalk)

At any rate Portland, Oregon's sweetheart darlings THE FENBI INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTARS are not going to be performing at the Sasquatch Festival 2009 and it is my fault and for that I apologize.

But check out this lineup:

Saturday, May 23th

Kings of Leon / Yeah Yeah Yeahs / The Decemberists / Animal Collective / Bon Iver / Devotchka / M. Ward / Doves / Sun Kil Moon / The Gaslight Anthem / King Khan & The Shrines / Ra Ra Riot / Shearwater / Passion Pit / Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band / Vince Mira / Blind Pilot / Owl City / Arthur & Yu / Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele / Death Vessel / Hockey / People's Republic of Komedy / James Pants / Todd Barry / Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

Sunday, May 24th

Jane's Addiction / Nine Inch Nails / TV On The Radio / The Murder City Devils / of Montreal / The Avett Brothers / Calexico / M83 / The Airborne Toxic Event / The Walkmen / The Wrens / St. Vincent / The Dodos / John Vanderslice / The Submarines / Viva Voce / The Builders And The Butchers / AA Bondy / Fences / Point Juncture, WA / The Red Wine Boys / Zach Galifianakis / Deadmau5 / Natalie Portman's Shaved Head / People's Republic of Komedy

Monday, May 25th

Ben Harper and Relentless7 / Erykah Badu / Silversun Pickups / Fleet Foxes / Gogol Bordello / Santigold / Grizzly Bear / Explosions In The Sky / Girl Talk / Blitzen Trapper / The Knux / Monotonix / Bishop Allen / Black Moth Super Rainbow / Beach House / Mugison / The Dutchess And The Duke / School Of Seven Bells / Horse Feathers / The Pica Beats / Loch Lomond / BLK JKS / Demetri Martin / God's Pottery / Chromeo / Tobacco / People's Republic of Komedy

Unfortunately my friends, the bands I want to see are spread out over all three days (coincidence, I think not) and I can't even afford to go to one day, let alone all three (thanks recession) ... but at least in Seattle I know there is the low cost alternative (free) Folklife Festival ... and while I am not going to go on a rant about how ridiculous it is that we aren't playing there (cause we are the NW preeminent world music band, after 3 Leg Torso apparently) - I will say that I ... lost my train of thought ... shite!

President Obama's Address to the Nation

2009-02-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

I decided that I am going to do a step by step blogging account of President Obama's first address to the nation. I sure as hell better ... because I was the guy pulling for the man ever since I heard him speak at the democratic national convention.

So far I am finding it very difficult to type while trying to listen.

So ... here it goes ...

Ahem ...

Clapping ensues....

So far Brian Williams is just bragging about his private lunch with the Jesus ... err I mean the President ...

The chief justices are walking in ...

Beer supply is down to 60% ... might be a problem ... more details to come ...

First lady just walked in ... she is awesome ...

They're talking about Gary Locke ... he is my dawg ...

So far I am sooooooo happy not to see George Bush or Dick-wad-Cheney ...

Hillary Clinton just appeared to have been kissed by Rolan Burris, my sources cannot confirm or deny ...

... so far it is boring and my beer supply is down to 53%.

... I might as well explain my beer supply at this point. I just have two cans. One is almost gone.

... still waiting for Obama ... seen one too many republican faces.

"Madam Speaker"

"The president of the United States"

(lots of clapping)

I haven't seen this much clap since the last Fenbi tour!

So far Obama is looking good. Even republicans are crawling over themselves to kiss his cheek. I think I see Rolan Burris again. Smiling and happy.

I'm wondering who those two old white guys are who are escorting him?

Beer supply down to 50%.

Eye hasn't stopped twitching.

Speaker Pelosi looks hot from this angle.

Beer supply down to 48%.

Her clapping style isn't very hot.

Obama getting ready to talk ...

Obama interrupts Pelosi by accident.

Kinda funny.

It's ok because he's not Stupid George W. Bush.

Can we talk about what they are wearing ... or is that only for the Oscars?

He mentions Michelle Obama and everyone is going nuts ... so far he hasn't really said anything ...

... he has come here to speak frankly to all Americans

... giving details of the recession ... personal stories ...

... says "We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before."

I am noting to myself, the weird things I do when my girlfriend is out of town ...

"It's time to take responsibility for our future once more."

He's now talking about how to pull ourselves out of this mess ... talking about how we import more oil than ever before ... our healthcare is a mess ... and we can't stop piling up debt ... an era where short term gains are more important than the long term .. "

It's hard to keep up.

But what I can say is that he is saying everything I want to hear.

Beer supply down to 45%.

But in a nutshell ... he is talking about actually looking at the long term instead of short term gains ...

... it's about time ...

People are clapping because the American Economic Recovery Act is now law ... republicans still deuche bags ...

The stimulus money is going to broadband, mass transit, and teachers ... not bad. Tax credits for parents sending kids to college ...

Obama is talking about skepticism ... camera cuts to Joke McCain ...

"Nobody Messes With Joe"

He gets standing ovation ... I dig.

Mentions recovery.gov ... where American's can go to see where each dollar goes ...

Talking about the credit crisis ... hopefully he says he is going to annihilate credit card companies that engage in predatory lending ...

... he's talking about how people are afraid to loan and credit has dried up ... is going to restart lending by:

1. Creating new lending fund to help car loans, new business loans, home loans ... oh my!

2. Launched a housing plan that will help responsible families to lower interest rates ... the average family can save nearly $2,000 per year

3. Act with the full force of the federal govt to ensure the major banks have enough confidence to make loans ... and if a bank threatens to fail, the govt will hold those at the top accountable

.... still nothing about rewriting predatory credit card laws ... course maybe that's just me?

beer supply down to 35%

"CEO's wont be able to use taxpayer money to pad their payrolls or disappear on a private jet ...."

... he's still trying to beat it in people's heads that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure ...

Obama is such a breath of fresh air ... he is not lying ... he is not saying stupid shit ... he is being honest and open!

God damnit, it is great to be an American once again!

"It's not about helping banks, it's about helping people."

... I wish people would stop clapping ...

... beer supply down to 32%

Asking congress to reform our outdated regulatory system!!!!!!!

Hell yeah!!!!

Time to punish shortcuts and abuse!!!

Still trying to beat reality into the skull of "Joe the Plumber"

... camera pans to views of smug republicans ...

... he's making inferences to Lincoln, Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Kennedy, etc

Budget will invest in three areas:

1. Energy
2. Health Care
3. Prostitution ...

errr wait ... I mean ... Education!

In referencing the green industry "It is time for America to lead again"

Or was it ... LEED again? har har har

* This is starting to feel like a bad idea because I didn't realize how long his speech would be.

*** He asked congress to send him a bill putting a cap on carbon emissions and encourages green energy ... he is the ******* man!

-> On the auto industry ....

"We wont protect them from their own bad practices"

Amen!

"The nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it."

That is encouraging ... I like where he is going with that...

-> On healthcare ...

"By the end of the year it could cause 1.5 million americans to lose their homes"

No sh** mang ... I am 27 and have never had health coverage

"We can't afford to put healthcare reform on hold"

He claims to have done more for healthcare in 30 days, then had been done in the past decade ... true that.

Beer supply down to 20%

There he goes ... he said the budget invests in healthcare reform that encourages prevention!!! Like I said before ... an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Mentioned Teddy Roosevelt tried to start healthcare reform a hundred years ago ... said it wont wait another week ... plans to work on it next week ...

on the third promise ... we are going to expand on education ...

3/4 of the fastest growing professionals require more than a high school diploma ... half of Americans don't have a degree ... half of Americans don't graduate college ... I'm sorta jealous of kids who are 14 years old right about now ...

Claims to have already made college affordable to 7 million more Americans

"Dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It's not just quitting on yourself, it's quitting on your country!"

* By 2020 America will have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world

He knows the price of tuition is higher than ever ... if people volunteer a year of their time he asks congress to send him a bi-partisan piece of legislation bearing the name's of Orin Hatch and Edward Kennedy that will help people pay for college

I guess ...

... I didn't really get that one

Beer supply down to 10%

... he encourages better parenting ...

"Responsibility for our children begins at home"

"We'll eliminate the no-bid contracts that have wasted billions in Iraq"

"We will finally end the tax breaks for corporations that send our jobs overseas"

"We will end the tax breaks for the wealthiest 2% Americans. If your family earns less than 250,000 per year you will not see your taxes increased a SINGLE dime, Bitch!"

I added the bitch!

The recovery plan includes a tax CUT for 95% of working families.

Beer supply down to 5%

"For 7 years we have been a nation at war, mo longer will we hide its price."

He just said the military has our unyielding support ... loud applause.

Beer supply: .00000001%

He plans to raise the pay, and give our veterans expanded healthcare ... how is he going to balance the budget again?

"Living our values makes us safer and stronger"

"The United State of America does not torture, we can make that commitment here tonight."

Jesus - was the past 8 years a bad dream?

I just checked my bank balance ... alllllright

Sorry ... I went to pee and never made it back to my computer because I lazed out on the couch ...

I'm eating some more of Dave's Killer Bread ...

Admiring our country, our president, and thinking about going to the gym ...

Dave's Killer Bread

2009-02-23T19:05:00.000-08:00

If you haven't tried Dave's Killer Bread yet, you are a German bag! A deutsche bag, as we say in the industry. It's a world music thing.

Anyway - here is how we know it is great fantastic bread. Last night my gal and I were bored and lazing around the house. Usually this is when I make a run to Plaid Pantry nearby to pick up some candy or beer (for myself). But on this occasion it was agreed upon that we would forgo the candy and go straight to the DAVE'S KILLER BREAD! Jesus Christ, if that isn't a sign I don't know what is.

I have waited so long to try this bread. I had taken many a gander on every visit to Fred Meyer ... but I couldn't get over that $5.25 price tag. That is a shite load for bread ... especially for someone who has been underemployed since last July.

However, I beat up a bunch of squares downtown last night and stole all their money and went to Freddy's to buy some bread!

Juuuuust kidding. That is what the OLD Dave would have done, and he's learned enough lessons for all of us!

If you check out his web site there is this gnarly recreation of his life of old ... his meth dealings and the way he used to beat people senseless for drugs and money. Usually that kind of thing turns me off when I think about potential bread suppliers ... but then I thought how he was mostly beating up other drug dealers so I got over it quickly.

But the guy has a great life story ... and he makes great bread. It's healthy, full of omega 3's and seed and whole wheat germs and all that hippie dippy shite that adds years to your life.

Course, I say that as I am pounding down the Rolling Rock - straight outta old Latrobe! The worst beer in the world except for when it is on sale.

In conclusion, I hope that in the very least the people tracking Dave's Killer Bread and Rolling Rock ... the kids working at some far off PR agency ... can at least enjoy my meanderings and perhaps hunger ... HUNGER for the stuff. The stuff being Fenbi. Seriously, check us out ...

The Poles of Ireland

2009-02-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

I was in the shower this morning. It was a morning unlike most others. I was able to sleep in without my mother calling me to ask if I can help her out with a run to the antique mall. In fact, nobody has called me today. It is almost one in the afternoon, and like yesterday, the thought to grab something to eat hasn't even crossed my mind yet. This is often the case for a guy like me.

In the shower this morning I was thinking about the racial tensions between the Poles and the Irish in Ireland. I had just read this article in the Seattle Times about this fugitive Pole who all the Irish police had been looking for. Apparently there was this horrible driver that kept getting pulled over - all over the country from Waterford to Mayo - and it turned out his name was just the Polish word for 'Drivers License.' So it turned out there were many, many Poles getting pulled over for bad driving and when they gave their name - they were just saying "drivers license" in Polish. It sounds kinda weird ... like maybe the Irish need to get more information when they pull someone over, but who am I to judge another culture?

Anyway, in the shower this morning I was trying to create a commercial in my head that could be broadcast worldwide that would demonstrate how much better equipped America is to handle the influx of immigrants and different cultures - no matter what your background.

It was sorta stealing the VISA commercial idea ... where they are like "Pearl necklace $500, Rusty Trombone $37, dirty sanchez $7 - spending your honeymoon in Vegas - priceless." You know that one?

Well, there I was in the shower - and I had already come up with the punch line so I was trying to figure out ideas to support it ... like a bunch of Germans playing accordions showing to an English high noon tea party .... or a bunch of Poles trying to have a Polish wedding in an Irish pub ... and it would cut to the punch line of "Being able to express your cultural identity without getting shot in the face - priceless." And it would be this add for America ... the film would cut to sweeping landscapes or something like that and a voice would come over and say "America - the world's melting pot." It would be an immigration video or something ... or maybe just a PR piece?

And so I was thinking about all this stuff in the shower ... but then I remembered my own experience with Poles in Ireland, and I became quite irate. All of a sudden I didn't want to defend their cultural sensibilities anymore because I was remembering my WORST hostel experience in Dublin, and how it went something like this ...

So there I was in Dublin. I had been there for a couple days and flying out to Europe had been so stressful and so sleep depriving that I had developed a cold core on my lip (they always come about when I am stressed out and sleep deprived.) So far, three days into my stay in Dublin my trip had been a disaster. I was hoping to meet Irish ladies ... hang out with Irish dudes - see all the sights and sounds and make great lifelong Irish friends. But I was so self conscious that I had become the weirdo getting drunk in the corner by myself ... wandering from bar to bar to bar with notepad in hand - writing about my feelings like some beatnik retard American. Afraid to talk to anyone because I was so self conscious.

I was all set to leave Dublin for Kilkenny, when I met this French gal named Marion who didn't seem to care whether or not I had a cold sore on my face. She was super nice and sorta pretty and we spent an entire day running around to free museums and the like - so I decided that I would stay an extra two nights in Dublin versus leaving that night. I was able to extend my stay in my hostel for one night, but the following night was Friday and it was all booked up. So Marion and I walked all over Dublin trying to find a hostel I could stay in the following night. I was rejected by one after another.

Finally we came across a hostel ... a little storefront off the beaten path ... and it was run by a POLISH lady. I asked if she had a bed for the FOLLOWING NIGHT and she was all "Yes, yes, of course - we have great room for you." She asked that I pay her in advance and we left with a feeling of accomplishment.

However, at that point Marion and I had some weird cultural miscommunications going on and I was becoming increasingly irritated at trying to interpret her broken English through her thick French accent. We ended up parting ways with no real interest in meeting up again later.

The next day, wandering around alone again, I stumbled across the 100 year anniversary party of the Irish political party, Sinn Fein. There was a large crowd gathered - I believe it was even in front of the post office where during the Easter Rising of 1916 so many brave men gave their lives in defiance of the British rule. I saw bands perform, and the great Gerry Adams gave a speech in both the native Irish language and the imperialist English that I have grown to love.

Throughout the entire event there was this pungent man standing next to me smelling of many sharp colognes, who kept making observations and taking pictures and sharing them with me. He was shorter than myself and was obviously not Irish. I thought he was from Eastern Europe but it turned out he was Israeli. We chatted for awhile after the event was over and he invited me to go out to eat at some Chinese restaurant called Charlies. It was there he told me about his lavish gay lifestyle and how he was the lead shoe buyer for a major shoe company. We talked about life, love, the pursuit of happiness and afterwords he invited me to his hotel.

In retrospect the invitation was probably harmless but my gaydar was on full red alert and I was afraid of being taken advantage of krav maga style.

We parted ways and I gathered my things and headed to the POLISH hostel for a night of rest and relaxation. I showed up at the door, where the woman was standing in the foyer smoking a cigarette under an orange glow cast by a beaten street light.

"Where have you been?" She looked at me like a cunning serpent ready to strike an unsuspecting mouse.

To make matters worse, I misinterpreted the question. I thought it was like "Hey bro, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you" so I shared all my adventures with her until she cut me off.

"You were not in room last night" she said looking away, taking another drag from her cigarette.

"Oh, well actually I had paid for tonight," I said - fully aware that every other hostel in town had been booked already and if she was booked I would have nowhere to stay.

"Silence! No, you have not paid for tonight! I have note say you pay last night, you have not pay tonight."

Staring off into space she sucked the life out of her dying cigarette.

At this point I set my guitar down and tried to turn on some of my charm. "Well, I think there was a misunderstanding. You see, I came specifically to you last night knowing that all other hostels would be booked up tonight, and I made a reservation for today for that reason." After the words spilled from my mouth I thought about how bad it had just sounded.

"That is not what my note say," she said matter of factly.

It was starting to rain.

"Well, ok then. Do you have any rooms for tonight" I asked, fighting back the anger.

She tossed her cigarette out into the street and looking down on me she smiled like the wicked bitch that she was, and turned around into the building. "Let us see."

We walked into the hostel and I booked another room.

"You do know it is five Euro extra for weekend night?"

"Yeah, whatever, I don't care."

She took advantage of the fact that I was exhausted. My body had that feeling that comes after wearing the same clothes for days in a row. Some people can describe such muckiness as a case of 'swamp ass.' My legs were chaffing from the friction ensued by walking many, many miles. After paying a ridiculous amount for my bunk I went into my room and threw my backpack down onto a weak Chinese made bed frame that appeared stressed to the max from the weight.

"At least the sheets appear to have been washed" I said to myself.

I changed down to my underwear and walked into the shower room. The place was filthy ... I had to walk through a layer of mud created by the bottoms of other people's shoes mixing with the moisture from the shower. Once in the shower there was no way to turn it on without getting that initial blast of cold water. I extended my body as far away from the nozzle and pushed the button for the water. You had to keep your finger pressure on the button to get any water to come out. What's more, the water never got any warmer - it was just ice cold water.

At this point I was shivering ... knowing that I probably wouldn't feel warm again for at least 24 hours ... ice cold from the inescapable spray ... feeling dirty and grimy and disgusting ... I dove head first into the stream and took the coldest shower of my life in the most ungodly expensive hostel I have ever paid for - brought to me in part by the beautiful Polish immigrants who apparently, are pissing off all the Irish of Ireland.

fin

Ways Newspapers Can Turn Red Into Black ...

2008-11-05T22:12:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here late at night thinking not about the historic election that took place last night ....

Ok, I am thinking about that. I've spent the past two hours scanning various media to find the latest on close races, stats from states, poll numbers ... I've looked at a huge variety of data that obviously news organizations and other groups have spent tons of money to acquire! Someone's gotta be out there beating feet to interview folks about who they are voting for, why, what their background is, etc etc etc.

After carousing the NY Times - for free, the Irish Times - for free, the BBC - for free, The Oregonian - for free, CNN - for free, Pollster.com - for free, ABC - for free, CBS - for free ... I finally ended up at my hometown newspaper the Port Townsend Leader and realized I was reading news about my hometown that someone spent hours gathering, writing, and posting on the internet - and all this took place for the outlandish price of FREE!!!

It is no wonder Reuters is outsourcing some of their work to India. Should we be worried that creative jobs are being outsourced? Isn't the promise of outsourcing that only ridiculous manual labor jobs that Americans don't want to do will be outsourced? Should we be worried the Seattle Times has cut their staff by 20% ...

Well, that's a topic for another blog.

Ok, here is the meat.

Last night I went to an election party at the Grand Central Bowl in Portland, OR. Sponsors included the Bus Project, AM 970, and the Willamette Week among others. While checking out my hometown paper I had the idea:

Newspapers should fight the lack of funds induced by the advent of electronic media by getting into the event planning business!!! Who else has awesome contacts better than the editors and reporters of print media! They review books, they review bands, they review actors, politicians ... all sorts of interesting people!

Who do you want to party with??? INTERESTING PEOPLE!!!

So, while newspapers are busy slashing jobs wondering how to keep up with electronic media and the collaborative world of Web 2.0 AND losing TONS of advertising revenue, perhaps they should look outside of the box for their revenue streams.

Use the community they have built to promote concerts and artists and comedians and various other interesting people. THAT, is how people are starting to look at Web 2.0. Why not turn the mirror back upon real life ... is it time for REAL LIFE 2.0? Or wait ... that is what Second Life is for ...

Worried about objectivity?

Create some serious and rigorous standards and regulations.

Write them on paper.

Put them on your door so you have to look at them every time you go outside.

And for God Sake Man - Stop Sending Creative Jobs Overseas.

I hate being a delivery driver.

My brain is mush.

I can't throw ideas off my co-workers.

The majority of my conversations consists of "Thanks" or "hi" or "Seeya to-mar-ah."

I can't talk about anything creative ...

... just sports, video games, porn, and a bunch of other stuff I haven't cared about since I was 16 years old.

Last social media/web 2.0 blog ... until i write one again

2008-10-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

I need to stop writing about social media and web 2.0 because:

#1 - I'm a bystander with nothing new to say
#2 - Our Fenbi pals would rather have us talk about music and cultural things
#3 - It's more exciting to talk about scandalous things

But that said, let me give you my top three experiences that exemplify why I embrace social media and follow it through blogs and magazines.

#1 - Hot for Sarah - When I performed with the band The Young Immortals I created a scheme to write to all the Sarah's I could find on myspace to say:

"Hey Sarah! How are you! I just wanted to let you know we wrote a sweet little song juuuust for you! I hope you like it, cheers, TYI"

You'd be surprised how many Sarah's thought we were awesome for taking the time to write to them and how many loyal fans we created. It was verified when we toured across the country and met tons of Sarah's who said "Someone from your band emailed us and said ..... "

By pure coincidence I contacted the producer from Portland's AM 970 "The Rick Emerson Show" producer Sarah X Dylan. She humored us enough to bring us on the show, thereby my scheme earning us FREE MEDIA. Boo ya! When are they gonna bring the new band on? We are much more entertaining and exciting if I may say so ...

#2 - Writing blogs - Our current band - The Fenbi International Superstars has absolutely no music recorded or displayed on our myspace page (www.myspace.com/fenbi) aside from this 'Sheep Shearing' track that is really just Orion and myself goofing around to the backdrop of some hot Pogues tune.

In order to compensate for our lack of tunes I have been writing several blogs per day resulting in over 200 profile views per week on our myspace page. It is hard enough getting that when you HAVE music ... but we don't ... so we have to compensate somehow. And IT'S WORKING!!!

#3 - Confronting someone trash talking Tony Greene - We tried out for the Pizzazz talent show and lost miserably to some rad and talented kids - one of them being Tony Greene. When I checked out the blog of the sponsor I saw someone had written a comment degrading Tony's victory and since the kid was a genius 10 year old I rose to his defense - basically calling out the criticizer on her gross over-generalizations. How is this a beautiful example of the wonders of social media??? Because the person retracted all of their venom and retreated into their cold lonely dark cave ...

... annnnnd I got off a great zinger about them maybe checking out "Season 4 of the OC if they can't find better ways to entertain themselves." Or something like that. It was great, trust me.

It's a wondrous thing this social media ... it offers so many tricks for community building and image control ... and now I am going to shut up and hopefully start writing blogs about gypsies or tinkers or crazy arts scenes in Portland, OR starting with THURSDAY NIGHTS AT 9 MUSES ACOUSTIC TAVERN ON SE 28TH AND BELMONT, $1 PABST BLUE RIBBON, FOOLS,

you have to be in my headspace to understand what i am saying

2008-10-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of google reader. I promote it to my friends and I use it all the time to send headlines directly into my Reader inbox and I can pick and choose which stories I want to read. You can use this service for news sites such as the NY Times and Seattle Times (who just gave a questionable endorsement to Dino Rossi) but I tend to use it only to monitor blogs. To be honest ... I'm alone among my friends in Web 2.0 advancements outside of myspace and facebook.

One of my favorite blogs to read is Web Strategy by Jeremiah (www.web-strategist.com/). In many ways it is very strange that I enjoy reading it so much because I certainly don't currently hold any positions with any companies that might be able to take advantage of my interest. I just find it very interesting to see how "smart business people" are trying to use and embrace social technologies for their products. It's like this guy Jeremiah is a pre-school teacher directing all these business leaders on one of those leashes that you see little kids attached to in the big city.

Web 2.0 seems pretty simple to me. You have online communities ... certain people flock to them because of a given interest ... and they spend a little chunk of their time hanging out there a couple hours per week. But sometimes business leaders are like blood-sucking vampires and all they see is an opportunity to roll out the red carpet for yesteryear's advertising campaign.

It seems all the business leaders are freaking out about metrics; proving that advertising dollars are well spent on a social networking site ... but perhaps they need to take a step back and try not to use their old business models with this new technology.

How effective are billboards? How effective are commercials, both on television and radio? We've certainly learned to tune them out or change the channel ... so why would you try to do those things on the Internet? Yet they are allllll ovvvver the place!

The awesome power of the Internet enables you to go directly to these online communities where your target market may be congregating. Hell ... it allows you to create your own. It allows you to throw out that washed up 50's era marketing plan and create something real - based on community engagement. But I think when you lose sight of the community vision - THAT is where things go wrong quickly.

I personally feel we just HAVE to get back to community in all aspects of our lives whether it is where we live, how we interact, how we spend our money, or how we embark on marketing campaigns. We need to rebuild/rezone our cities so that everything we need is in walking distance. We need to build products that don't break after a few uses.

We need to understand our role in this mosaic of cultures living on earth in a way that doesn't make us better or richer or smarter than people from other countries. We need to respect our environment.

And if we're going to market a product - whether it's dominoes or milk we need to be honest, not cram it down peoples throats, and show respect for the consumer by creating a product in the first place that betters peoples lives. If you have to rely on 50's era marketing practices maybe your product suuuuucks.

And it makes sense to turn to people who either majored in communication, or have a strong interest in interpersonal communication to further your brands reach within social technologies.

Web 2.0 technologies are like a robotic representation of the flesh and blood of real communication. Communications professionals are the grease for that machine!

Employed ... almost REALLY employed ...

2008-10-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

So ... I am not always the best decision maker.

Today I went to my third interview for a position that will include scanning and reading blogs for a PR company. That would be my job. I would be entry-level and the people above me would be the experts that I would be learning from.

I have been excited about this job for some time because I am very interested in social media and all the debates over metrics and how to measure your reach and the effectiveness of social media campaigns ... I really think my enthusiasm came across in the interview today and I will find out whether or not I got the job in a day or so.

Until I hear back from them I get to continue my wonderful delivery driving job. I have been back at work for less than two weeks and already I am training someone. That means I spent the entire day riding shotgun looking at the same scenery on the same route that I have had on and off for over two years. Being a passenger for five hours whilst driving in circles gives one time to think.

I pondered my interview performance and wondered what I might have said better ... what I may have forgotten to bring up ... what they might have thought of me dressed up in my fanciest outfit. I've never made more than $8,500 in a year and this job has the potential to triple or even quadruple that - doing something I clearly enjoy. I find that fascinating.

Anyway - as I cruised around crashing from my coffee buzz and thinking about my future I realized I had one skeleton in my closet ... THIS BLOG!!!!! And my myspace blog!!!!!!

Perhaps I shouldn't have told them about my band ... or perhaps I shouldn't have spelled out my band's name. Chances are ... since they are influential monitors and experts in searching through social media - they may have looked up my blogs. And they may not have appreciated what they found.

Up until about 20 minutes ago this blog was filled with entries saying crass things ... using the F word ... using all kinds of language as if I were some street punk from the inner city.

Potential employer ... please forgive me ... and please ignore what you may or may not have read earlier today ...

Unemployed Day # 30 ... sob sob sob

2008-08-28T09:36:00.001-07:00

I am reading a book titled, Flight of the Creative Class. It's one of these new age books on economics much like Deep Economy by Bill McKibbon which I am also reading.

Flight of the Creative Class is one of the more recent books by the author Richard Florida who gained fame and recognition for his first novel titled Rise of The Creative Class.

One of the main themes he is always stressing is that quality of place is the most important factor in stimulating economic growth. That is why cities like NYC and San Francisco have such huge economies - because they are open cities where gays, immigrants, and people of color can feel comfortable. He argues entrepreneurs follow artists ... note the Silicon Valley after the late 60's and the Seattle boom after the Grunge scene in the early 90's.

I have to admit, I like his books and his insight as well. No more does a city need to focus on building an 'Arch' or 'Space Needle' or any other kind of symbol to seem important. Florida has stripped away the superficiality and said "Hey everyone, if you want a nice city with a great economy you have to make it live up to the American dream of everyone equal and party 24/7!" Perhaps that is why Memphis and Nashville never really took off? My image of those cities (especially after going to them) is of a vibrant arts scene, but then Cletus and Billy Bob are there polishing their shotguns on their front porches waiting to get the posse together! I'd like to think we've moved past those days?

But you have to wonder why Portland hasn't boomed quite yet? Surely we have an awesome arts scene in this town? Surely we have tons of entrepreneurial talent and all of us kids walk around feeling like this is such an open-minded city.

On the other hand, I think Portlanders are lucky to have mayor-elect Sam Adams who not only lives in North Portland, but also seems to have a strong grip on the issues at stake for our city. With his strong support of bike lanes and assorted issues he knows livability is tops on the priority list. He seems to have a strong grasp of the concepts of sustainability and acting locally and eating locally and although I don't know the guy, I think we are lucky.

I originally came to this blog center to write about Richard Florida's book Flight of the Creative Class. How I was reading it last night and saw European countries are giving scholarships to Americans to attend their universities with the hope that when they become business leaders they will strengthen ties with those European countries. After reading that I immediately ran to my computer and found a scholarship that pays you to study in Ireland for a year! Free! With a stipend! With a travel stipend on top of that!

See you later!

Errr, I mean, umm ... let's make Portland nice ... and stuff.

If you are still reading this give yourself a huge gold star. The only other interesting thing I wanted to mention about Flight of the Creative Class is how George Bush's policies regarding post 9/11 terrorism checkpoints at airports, background checks on people of non-European descent, and rejection of Phd candidates from overseas has really hurt our standing in the world, and also hurt our economy. Because those creative entrepreneur's are being rejected from living here and creating the next scientific breakthrough ... America has lost its standing in the world because these intelligent Indians, Chinese, and others are looking more towards Europe for openness ... or they are building universities in their countries that top ours. As the book points out the leading medical school in the world is in India, some of the top tech schools are in Japan ... by having an administration that doesn't embrace science we are crumbling at our very foundation.

Consider this: the biggest entrepreneurs of the silicon valley era are not Americans by birth ... they are Taiwanese, Bangladeshi, Indian, Chinese ... if there were ever a case to NEVER elect a REPUBLICAN(t) ever again - these failed policies crystallize that notion.

In other news I saw the Angelina Jolie movie "Wanted" last night and it was the worst movie I have ever seen.

mjp

Unemployed Day # too many to count ...

2008-08-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am getting an education on things that people already knew 150 years ago.

Here is a list of the blatantly obvious things our society is having a hard time coming to terms with lately:

1. Relying so heavily on fossil fuels is expensive
2. Relying so heavily on fossil fuels gives power to bad guys
3. Relying so heavily on fossil fuels as fertilizers to grow our food is unhealthy
4. We feed enough grains to animals we raise for meat to feed the world many times over
5. We eat too much of our food in the processed form thereby not consuming enough nutrients.
6. We should eat more raw fruits and vegetables.
7. We should eat locally so we don't waste fossil fuels and we support our community.
8. We should choose organic so we don't eat fossil fuels.
9. Living in a community where you can walk everywhere saves energy.
10. We consume too many empty calories.
11. We should exercise more.
12. We should spend more time in nature.
13. We should spend more time eating and drinking with friends than watching TV or sitting in front of the computer.

All these things apply to me personally. Maybe they apply to you. How far do you commute to work and how much money do you waste to do so? How much fossil fuel? Do you know your neighbors? Where does the majority of the food you consume come from? South America in the Winter? Pork from the East Coast? Did you know some Pork factory farms create more sewage waste than New York, California, and Washington combined? What do they do with all that pig waste? Is it worth it to eat large amounts of meat when it wastes so much food and fossil fuel and creates so much pollution?

It's funny I say that because I have been a vegetarian my whole life and I have recently decided to consume a little meat. There is no doubt about the nutritional value offered by fish and chicken.

But I hope everyone continues to think about our place in the world. Not as members of the greatest country on Earth ... surely we are free, open, and accepting. But we are all world people.

Disregard the hype.

3rd Day Unemployed

2008-08-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Unemployed Day 3, Portland, OR

Man, being unemployed is pretty great except for the not having money part. Even so, I am finding some great things to do that aren't very expensive and that I didn't have time to do before.

Portland Futsol

Last night I went to SE 17th and played futsol with a bunch of guys I didn't really know. I must admit I was horribly out of shape and after 5 minutes I was seeing double and needed to sit out. Despite my lack of ability to dribble or even pass as sharply as I used to, I still managed some good plays. I even got an assist, not bad for someone who hasn't played in over two years!

One thing I realized is how lame having a 9-5 job is when I can't exercise! Seriously, I am probably about 15 pounds overweight and it is quite disturbing once I try to do something that would have been easy before. Just a couple years ago I would have been zipping all over the place and schooling those bastards - now I am one of the slowest guys on the field. I must change that!

Hummus from Scratch

I also took advantage of feeling poor by making hummus from scratch. Usually it costs a pretty penny from Fred Meyer (even worse at Zupan's or Whole Foods) but I gathered 3 cans of garbanzo beans, some garlic, some lemon, and 1/4 of a cup of tahini and made probably $30 worth of hummus for $3. It was awesome! I put too much tahini in ... so that is why I am not posting my recipe.

Communications Positions, PR, Portland, OR

I applied for more PR positions related to web strategy and communication today. I was so excited to see a fresh job posting that I shaved and ran down to their office to personally deliver my resume. When I got back home I realized they had just announced today their new hires for communications counsel. Talk about yelling the F word so loud my whole neighborhood could hear it!

Portland Timbers

Anyway, I am going to see the Timbers tomorrow night. I might have some yard work lined up and it will feel good to work a bit. It's only been 3 days of unemployment so I don't have to get my panties in a knot ... yet. da da daaaa.

TBC

First Day Unemployed ...

2008-08-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today I begin anew as an unemployed social media enthusiast (and musician - that's a double-whammy).

I am going to write out the official business plan for Fenbi Media International and hopefully it makes sense.

So far I am hampered by several important developments:

#1 - I can't spend any money in the process because I don't have any
#2 - I haven't recovered any good programs since my hard-drive crashed 5 months ago
#3 - I no longer have access to Microsoft Office or Photoshop or Publisher or Powerpoint
#4 - When I need internet connection I need to hang my computer half-way out the second story window to try to tap into the neighboring coffee shop network (Thank you Adagio)
#5 - I am in another coffee shop and it's 10am and this hippy guy with a fedora is dancing to Indian music ... it's kind of annoying ... not an ideal work environment

At any rate ... this is the beginning of a new era and I hope to treat it as such. I hope to write blogs that actually have some relevance to people's lives and are less of a long-winded vanity rant ... ooops too late ...

Portland Social Media Blogging Experience

2008-07-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

It's ok if your head is in the sand when it comes to social media, there are worse places it could be … like up your ____ .... and that is where it usually is when you are talking to many "professionals."

For many years the focus of marketers and advertisers has been to shout at consumers using their proverbial loudspeakers in the mass media. They measure their success through complex calculations representing their "return on investment." Use wikipedia and check out what that formula looks like. It's complicated and it sucks! I hate math!

I wonder what formula they used to make this gem appear a worthwhile investment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX-Zk_LNZWg

The fact is, and everyone knows this but everyone is afraid to say it, people can make numbers say whatever the hell they want. There are certain areas you cannot manipulate numbers ... say 1+1=2 ... but when you are trying to measure things that were never meant to be more than qualitative experiments from uncreative minds then you will always be doomed to data manipulation. A good idea is often universally acknowledged ... a bad idea or gamble is something you have to convince people of. Why do people continually buy cheap plastic s**** from China? Oh, it's because they are BRIBED by low prices to do so. You see what I am saying?

In the case of the Pinto ... if you are a car manufacturer in the 21st century you are going to know almost immediately when you put a piece of garbage off the assembly line. Within moments of a bumper falling off, or say an EXPLODING BUMPER (as the case of the Pinto) bloggers are going to be all over that ... sharing, linking, sharing some more. Perhaps in the 80's they could snuff the firestorm to buy some time, but now days that just wont happen.

But in all seriousness, there are other ways to measure your ROI and often times it involves the ancient (and rarely practiced) art of listening. Listening is to marketers as polka is to rock bands. It's foreign, it's unattractive, and for the cynical professional it's easy to write off as unfashionable. We're talking about humanizing an industry that revolves around numbers and calculations and lying and manipulation.

After all isn't marketing founded on the principal that if you say the same thing enough times, eventually people will believe it? (oh wait, that is what Goebbels and McDonalds said).

As Charlene Li, co-author of Groundswell (http://blogs.forrester.com/charleneli/) says, the number one rule for utilizing social media is to focus on the relationships and not the technology. Otherwise you find yourself with accounts for Twitter, Plaxo, Facebook, Myspace, Bebo, Linkedin and having never logged in since the day you signed up.

Translated, this means that it is not entirely necessary for your company to create a forum just because your competitor did so. Perhaps you can get the same effect by tapping into existing social networks on Myspace or Facebook. Perhaps you can save your company a lot of time and money by testing new ideas in these communities that already exist! That is what people mean when they talk about tapping into the Groundswell.

The world wide web contains forums, blogs, social networking sites and everyone is interconnected and possibly talking about you.

1. What can you learn from this swarm of interaction?
2. Better yet, how can you use this buzz to save your company money?
3. How can you corral these wild stallions and test new ideas?

Maybe I'll get the urge to write more next Friday when I find myself unemployed and crying in my 40 ... haha

Advertising Age in Social Media

2008-07-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

I've been having some crazy thoughts related to blogs lately.

Number one, no one reads my blogs. If I were to take a survey with myself and examine everything that irritates me in life, it would be the fact that no one reads my blog! That is a lie, but it sounds funny - and I know over the past few years many people have been frustrated and gone crazy over this subject.

The funny thing is that I know exactly what I can do to get some readers - because corporate America is listening. Call me a black helicopter person if you must, but it is true. I can say:

1. I love TILLAMOOK Cheese!
2. GENERAL MOTORS makes fine automobiles!
3. TOYOTA ... now those are some fine hybrids!
4. DANNON YOGURT ... I love you!
5. WALMART ... still not your local food co-op
6. RITE-AID ... hopefully people are saying nice things about you (jk)
7. BUDWEISER ... not American any longer
8. COORS LIGHT ... tap the ****tiest beer on earth
9. PABST ... still wondering how they became popular again
10. JOHNSON & JOHNSON ... when are you going to come up with a drug to heal my *******

But seriously folks ... social media (including blogging) is in the sites of all the greedy business people that we took to the internet to escape. Remember how annoying and useless pop up ads were in their hey-day? It was enough to make you hate whoever was doing that to you. Starbucks has recently been employing pop ups on my computer and it's bugging the crap out of me.

Banner Ads

Big corporations also came up with banner ads which were slightly less annoying but for all intents and purposes - useless!!! They probably assumed they needed a 2% return on investment to make the ads worthwhile ... but what is the sense in pissing everyone off along the way?

Myspace

Now I can't log into myspace without some huge Hollywood funded flash-ad that takes extra time to load and I don't care about anyways.

Tools

As my dad always says, when your only tool is a hammer all your problems look like nails.

Advertising agencies' only tools appear to be hammers (and the people that work there).

I just don't think they get it yet. I recently checked out the Oscar Meyer Weiner fan club and it was just the most dreadful site I had ever seen. It shows they are still treating people like they are not people but mere consumer-cattle to be branded and herded.

Businesses are considering social media to be the next big thing as far as advertising is concerned and so far most of their efforts have been for not.
Corporate America just seems to throw money at the problem as if money were water on a fire. It's like corporate America is some schizophrenic that thinks money will solve everything. Just throw money at it!

Tour de Fat

That is why I like small companies and businesses. I love the New Belgium Brewery for their advertising campaigns including Tour de Fat. I just don't want us to lose that organic edge as we find our lives revolving more and more around technology. That is also why I love social media. It's bringing advertising and marketing back to the people ... it's taking the tour de fat example and applying it in a like manner on the internet. It's rad. I'd really like to find some way to combine my interest in technology with town life ... community and social marketing.

Back to traditional advertisers!

There is a new web site called second life ... it's where all the deusche bags you meet from your daily life go to create a new life where they don't suck so bad. I have heard, and I can't confirm, that people's characters in second life can actually make money and then exchange it for real dollars. Talk about a great scam that I wish I had thought of! You create a virtual world full of fantasy's to make nerds feel like they are cool ... charge advertisers to put up billboards in that virtual world ... let Johnny idiot who is an out of touch business executive create a character ... and then trade him real dollars to make his billionaire computer character successful! Why didn't I think of this?

The other crazy thing about second life is what I briefly mentioned. Advertisers are paying to put up BILLBOARDS in the game! Isn't that nutsy? I mean it works for video games but to me this seems a little strange and a waste of money. How effective are billboards in real life? How successful are they going to be in Second Life?

Aye Aye Aye

Groundswell

2008-07-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

How swell that I should write a blog post about the book, Groundswell (www.forrester.com/Groundswell). If you haven't read it, it's a must read for all those web heads out there who are trying to make social networking work for their business.

It's funny that I write this in a voice that may suggest others will read it - but no one is reading the Fenbi blog these days. I am trying to figure out how to hook up an RSS feed but it requires a little bit of knowledge that I don't have right now.

Back to the Groundswell - the book is basically giving me hope that I can enter into a career or make one of my own based on community marketing. Community marketing is a term I learned only just the other day ... but it has been inherent in my upbringing. I grew up in a town that scared Rite Aid from moving into an old bowling alley ... and instead a Food Co-Op took its place!

To me - marketing and PR and communication in general have been welded together by the fabric of social networking. I don't even really know what traditional marketing is, but I have a feeling an understanding of it doesn't matter any more because the effectiveness of traditional advertising has diminished due to increased noise - due to do-not-call lists - in other words, back in the 50's there were 4 TV channels and now there are thousands. There used to be several radio stations, now there are thousands. I have never received a call on my cell phone from someone asking to sell me something, but when I was a kid I remember I almost signed my mom up for new light bulbs over the phone! The method of an individual or group using the old model for advertising and marketing to blast off a message just will not work because it will not rise above the noise.

I believe if someone uses social networking in the right way - based on research - you can save your business thousands of dollars and have more success reaching your target audience. After all, the majority of Americans and Europeans are using this thing called the world wide web - however, the world wide number isn't even 50% of the world population yet.

It is so strange that I happen to be reading the Tipping Point right now. The Tipping Point came out in 2000 before all this social networking craze. I bet in a matter of no time the author will re-write the book based on Groundswell and offer a perfect example of a word-of-mouth campaign that actually works! Or I could lazily try to do it right now ...

Say I worked for an outdoor clothing store.

My method for promoting the product based on social networking would start with web design. In today's day in age interactivity is key - and the ability to listen to the consumer has never been so easy. Imagine a forum where consumers could sound off about your products ... talk about what they like, what they don't like, product defects, enthusiasm ... you name it. In one internet forum you have the capacity for a never ending focus group and likely saving you hundreds of hours of work and thousands of dollars.

But how would you drive those people to the site?

The tools are already out there ... you have myspace, facebook, and a plethora of other programs that allow you to search through their members based on key words like 'outdoors' or 'camping' or even your brand name. These people are your 'connectors' and possibly 'mavens' (as defined in the Tipping Point). All it takes to rev these people up is a thousand points of contact - simple introductions with perhaps a dangling carrot like a $5 off coupon - and in the process you can easily redirect them to your site with a link. You can use google or technorotti to search blog posts and link to those folks not associated with those networks geared towards the younger generation.

However, as research from Groundswell shows, people in the older age groups are still very likely to visit the forum on your site and even if they don't participate they are very likely to read or critic the posts. But based on my own personal anecdotal observations, the older generation is starting to use Myspace and Facebook. For shits and giggles I looked up all the people over 65 years of age within a 250 mile radius of Eugene, Oregon and found 2,500 names. While some of those were kids pretending to be old, many more were genuine grade A old people! I find that very interesting ... and I expect that age group to balloon in the coming years. Consider it baby boomers trying to show they are still hip ...

You would also need to give people a reason to keep coming back to your outdoor clothing site. I would suggest a "family photo album" where users could upload photos of themselves wearing your clothing in different places and doing different activities. Patagonia has been doing this for years in their magazines, why not on the internet where thousands of people can submit photos.

I guess what I am getting at is that social networking has taken mass marketing and mass communication back to interpersonal communication. It's the technological form of what it must have been like in an era before television and radio. It is now easier to engage and listen to thousands of customers. An outdoor clothing line could easily think of funny and creative ways to make viral videos to go on youtube ... I just wish I had the positioning to put my money where my mouth is and really try some of these ideas out.

I wonder if colleges will start to have classes on how to fine tune your online sales personality?

My outdoor clothing line example was a little inarticulate and not very well thought through - but this is a post for the layperson ... this is a post for me to get my excitement out of my head and onto paper ... and this is mostly a post brought to you by the fine folks at Forrester Research who wrote an awe inspiring book ...

July 17th and 18th my firm has been so kind as to pay for me to go to the Internet Strategy Forum in Portland (http://www.internetstrategyforum.org/). It's crazy because my internship is over in less than a month, yet they are still forking out over $250 for me to go hear people speak on this subject ... people at the absolute forefront of this school of thought. I have to admit I feel excited to go ... and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to work with the fine people at Conkling Fiskum & McCormick. In all reality I wouldn't have been thinking on this path if they hadn't been thinking about it first ... then encouraging me when I expressed interest in learning more. Although I dabbled in these strategies while in my last band, it is only recently that I feel I have really learned what it takes to harness the power of the web. Now if I just had a bunch of spare time, a new computer, and a company that would pay me to prove these theories. I would love to write viral jingles for the new century ... fight songs for your brand ... something drunken friends could sing during a fine summers night of merry-making! Yes!

Now, let's go check out some clothing sites and see if they have already enacted the principles of social networking ...

Better Late Than Never? Music Industry Starts Adapting to Digital Age

2008-06-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

When Shawn Fanning created Napster in 1999 it set off an explosion of file sharing across college campuses nationwide.

While the act of file sharing created careers for previously unheard of independent bands like Dispatch, more established acts like Metallica and Dr. Dre, along with the Recording Industry Association of America, insisted people were stealing music and actually sued individual file sharers.

Undeterred, millions of Americans continued trading mp3’s and burning CD’s for their family, friends, and co-workers. For ten years the music industry has been left dumbfounded by this brutal attack on their business model and album sales continue to plummet.

When news came last August that a private equity financier named Guy Hands paid $6.3 billion for EMI Records eyebrows were raised. Some of his previous investments included gas stations throughout Germany and hotels and pubs in Britain. By no means a lightweight, Hands Private Equity Firm Terra Firma had earned his bosses over £1.5 billion profit since 2002.

At EMI Hands immediately set to work trimming costs and in the process stepped on many toes. He discovered some employees were disguising write off’s for “drugs and prostitutes” as “fruit and flowers” so he started making employees provide receipts for every expense.

In January of this year Hands announced EMI would be trimming 2,000 jobs and critics responded saying Hands’ restructuring of the company appears out of touch and ruthless at best.

Despite his lack of empathy for artists’ sensitive egos, and his blatant disregard for industry veteran’s extra-curricular activities, Hands displays a keen awareness in his embrace of online digital strategy.

In addition to slicing the EMI workforce by one-third, Hands’ response to the erratic climate of the music industry and the rising tide of digital sales has been to cut costs by reducing artist advances and to pay less for marketing music.

Popular acts like Paul McCartney have left the label over disputes related to copyrights and this past week rumors have been swirling over the departure of the Rolling Stones. However, since EMI owns the publishing and licensing rights to the Rolling Stones catalogue (a major source of their income) it would be pointless for the group to leave.

A dispute last fall over an advance worth £10 million caused British rock band Radiohead to leave EMI and the band followed suit with a strategy unheard of in the music world. Radiohead released their new album In Rainbows online allowing fans to pay “whatever they wanted.”

While Radiohead kept the official tally a secret, industry analysts suspect they sold close to 1.2 million digital downloads of the album before physical copies were later released. Radiohead front man Thom Yorke said the band made more in digital sales for In Rainbows than in all previous digital album sales combined. After In Rainbows was released in physical form it shot to number one on the music charts in both the US and the UK, debunking popular criticism over their strategy that undoubtedly led to file sharing or so called ‘piracy’ of their album.

It is clear that Hands isn’t relying on his personal popularity at EMI to sell music, and he certainly isn’t relying on the traditional music industry model of selling physical copies of albums either.

At a gathering of band managers last autumn Hands said Rupert Murdoch had scoffed at his acquisition of EMI by saying, “Myspace is going to be the future of music, not record labels.”

As if adhering to Murdoch’s assessment, a confidential business plan from Mr. Hands’ investment firm reports an additional way to reduce costs is to use social networking sites to ”source new acts and as a means to test public reaction to individual acts.”

Despite their differences, both Radiohead and Hands are examples of how industry leaders are adapting to the digital revolution affecting the music industry.

Other artists have adjusted to file sharing by simply giving their albums away for free, effectively using their music as a promotional tool towards other means of generating income. Prince placed three million copies of his new album in London’s Sunday Times last year then proceeded to sell-out 21 straight concerts. Through his actions Prince discredited album sales as a source of income, and instead put his faith in concert ticket sales and other monies he earned from publishing and licensing royalties associated with merchandise.

Another example comes from EMI artist Coldplay. In April they released their new single Violet Hill for free as a digital download. When they released their new album last week they went to number one on the charts and reported over 302,000 sales (more than the next five albums on the charts combined). However, the number is still down from the 464,000 album sales for their last release over the same period.

How does this information relate to less established artists?

In May of this year the PEW Internet and American Life Project released a study showing 64% of music buyers discover music from family, friends, or co-workers. Social networking Web sites have made family, friends, and co-workers more connected and the advent of newer technologies like the mp3 has made it much easier to share music.

Digital sales are improving and according to the latest figures by the Recording Industry Association of America online digital sales have increased from 0% to 23% of the market share over the past five years. Keep in mind a Nielson study from December 2007 shows only 71.7% of American’s regularly use the Internet and only 21% of the world regularly logs on. Those numbers will continue to increase at a dramatic rate.

These examples from Radiohead, Prince, and EMI illustrate it is very important for artists to maintain their publishing and licensing rights because in the new digital age artists can’t expect to generate as much of an income through album sales. It may be time for artists to consider their album as more of a promotional tool and to focus their efforts on securing licensing deals through movies, advertisements, TV shows, video games, and related means. While these options were once called “selling out” they may be your only shot at a comfortable music career.

Social networking Web sites, an effective communication strategy, and word-of-mouth marketing are just several specialties a PR Firm like CFM could offer in promoting an artist’s musical reach to greater audiences while simultaneously trimming a bloated advertising budget.

Thoughts on Social Networking Web sites ...

2008-06-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

I recently completed some social networking sites for my favorite author, Bill Carter. I invite you to add the books to your friends list - and above all else I invite you to read them.

Red Summer

Fools Rush In

I have been thinking a lot about social networking lately. Many people who are friends with Fenbi now were originally friends because of the work we did with The Young Immortals.

Firstly, we performed at Shaken Not Stirred once a week where we just goofed off and had fun and became friends with one another. Next, we kept in touch not only through work and friendship, but also through myspace. I think I have had conversations with nearly every person I met through Shaken Not Stirred via myspace, and that is pretty crazy if you think about it.

There is a huge rage going about the PR world right now as professionals try to figure out how to fully utilize social networking Web sites. But I think I have come to believe that social networking sites are only one piece of the pie. You still need to have community outreach on a personal level, and you can't expect anything on the net to replace something as simple as putting posters up around town.

Any promotional effort needs to have many moving parts and just like we have realized so many times in the past in science, or marketing or whatever - there is never a silver bullet to any problem in life. People are complicated and so is society.

Anyway - I don't know if any one will get anything from this blog ... but let me know what you think.

Portland Music Scene

2008-06-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile I like to write a blog about the Portland Music Scene. Every time I do I can't help but feeling pretentious and a little misguided at best. After all, I don't really go out to shows that much and I no longer enjoy spending my weekends (and weekdays) drinking Pabst at shitty smokey bars.

Performing with a band 2-4 times per week will cure you of wanting to see other bands perform and will likely cure you of hanging out in bars too. Although it is likely to encourage you to be an alcoholic. Now, the only bands I want to see are ones that I have heard of and bands that have been a part of my life. I want to see Stone Temple Pilots, Radiohead, Pearl Jam, Ryan Adams, the Pogues ... you know ... established artists. I don't want to see your shitty friends shitty band.

And that attitude is precisely why it's going to be hard to get people to see our band. It's funny but true - because we're your shitty friends shitty band. If only by default.

It's hard to get people out to shows these days. I know 10 years ago it was hard too ... we have to compete with so many things. We have to compete with the "shitty friends band complex" but we also have to compete with whatever popular TV shows are keeping people at home. We have to compete with movies, books - so many forms of entertainment that are FREE. The internet for crying out loud ... youtube ... It seems like the only thing we don't have to compete with these days is someone whose only option is to watch paint dry - and even that is debatable.

I dunno. This is a shitty blog that doesn't make any sense and I don't really even believe any of the things I said. I have to admit I just wasted your time. I only wrote it because I am bored and waiting to receive an important email. Maybe a part of me is hoping that if someone google's "Portland Music Scene" our blog might come up ... and someone might be inclined to check out just another shitty friends' shitty band. Or whatever.

Modern American Musical Slavery

2008-06-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

The other week I had an interesting conversation with an acquaintance who plays in a soon-to-be famous rock and roll band signed to Epic Records. It was a conversation about licensing and publishing rights - a topic that was part of a reason I quit my last band - and something my friend admitted to spending several months talking over with his band and lawyers.

He brought up an analogy about car accidents. He said that as a drummer, if he were killed in a car accident the other guys in the band could reluctantly replace him if they wanted. On the other hand, if the singer was killed in a car accident, the band would be over and they would have to go their own ways.

What he said had a lot of truth to it. There was no 'Experience' after Jimmy Hendrix died. There was no continuation of Nirvana - there are tons of examples of bands that did not continue after the singer died.

I think this is a really lame way to look at band agreements. I am of the thought that everyone who contributes to a band to be able to split everything equally. Here is my argument.

Often times for years, the members of a band will struggle together to reach a goal of signing a deal with a label or at least garnering some form of success. They often work as a team ... each person lending a hand in making sure the songs reach an audience ... everyone practices ... everyone plays their part ... and like any entrepreneurs each one of them puts the rest of their life on hold for a common dream. So why is it fair that one member gets more benefits when their effort finally pays off? It's not fair. Everyone should be recouped for the years they spent laboring for free ... not knowing if the sacrifices they were making would actually pay off.

My final thought is that the concept of giving the singer and/or songwriters any more of the publishing or licensing or any other monies is just like good ol' fashioned slavery. It doesn't matter if we're talking about musicians ... or pirates on a ship - the people in power (record label or pirate captain) always want to give one of the slaves a little extra power so that the other slaves have someone who controls their fate (either beating them or controlling them with their financial power).

The singer/songwriter will always exist ... there are billions of them ... and the songs are NEVER what carries them to fame and notoriety. It's the people forming the mosaic of support that make it happen - whether it's girlfriends or family or friends of band members. That is why I think the British band the Ting Tings are a couple of twats. If you read one of their blog entries they call to attention a friend who is selling copies of their vinyl album for 60 pounds. They berate their friend and say "they would never ever make their fans pay an outrageous price." Get over it! That is what I say. I don't know the friends ... I don't know the situation ... but those friends trying to make an extra buck were probably the same friends letting you crash on their couch, buying you coffee, holding your hair out of your face as you vomit.

People, get over yourselves. Be a team. Call me a communist if you must. This blog is not complete and I will probably revise it when I have time ....

Oregon Votes Today

2008-05-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

I am sitting at my computer waiting for my girl to come home from work. You'd think that after spending an entire day sitting behind a computer that I might find something else to do, but not so much.

Barack is on the radio barking out a fabulous speech from Iowa. I heard about him for the first time about 4 years ago. It was a speech he gave at the Democratic convention during John Kerry's bid for president that caused me to pull my car to the side of the road to really listen and be with him during his conversation.

Tonight is an equally impressive speech. I like what Obama is about. The fact that he will say in a speech that parents need to turn off the TV and read to their kids is impressive in my opinion. In ten years someone had better tell me to turn off the computer and read to my children!

But he's really a fantastic speaker and I think he will inspire others to work their asses off when he becomes president. And that is what it is all about ... inspiring people ... delegating activities. Too many people think the president should be a patriarch of our country ... like some southern family ... but I don't think that. They need to inspire people to do the right thing.

I feel bad for Hillary and Hillary supporters. She would be a great candidate as well ... she seems to be a great person and while I do think our country is sexist, I don't think men are not voting for her because of sexism. I just think Obama is a better candidate. She might be a great VP ... but we shall see.

As for music ... we had a great weekend in PT. We stayed with Orion's parents who are incredible cooks and incredible people. They are so active and interesting and have carved out a little piece of paradise in their Washington alcove. Band-mate Todd wrote an awesome blog about our experiences this past weekend, although he never had the opportunity to sample food from his favorite cafe - the Tyler Street Coffee House. I love Port Townsend. Check out his blog here:

http://www.beautifulfunnysadandtrue.com/a-great-weekend-in-pt/

Also, if you haven't seen our video yet, check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqsYWuxO8Hc

Alright ... well we are always trying to get the word out about FENBI but have been pretty tired recently. If anyone wants to help ... if any one has any ideas please give us a line ... please visit our myspace page:

www.myspace.com/fenbi

Marketing your music in the new media ... suggestions for our fellow artist

2008-05-08T17:11:00.001-07:00

Introduction: The music industry has been turned on its head in the last five years.

The former market model was to have a phonograph, record, 8-track, cassette, and then CD to sell to consumers. Musicians would try to supplement and promote sales of the album through airplay on radio stations and live performance.

The new model, in my opinion, is to distribute your music freely and to earn money through ticket sales to live performances, merchandise sales, and through publishing and licensing your music.

Licensing: The right, granted by the copyright holder, for a given person or entity to broadcast, recreate, perform, or listen to a recorded copy of a copyrighted work.

Publishing: Collecting royalties for use, placing songs in other forms of media such as movies and commercials.

Examples of the new model:

∑ July 16, 2007 – Prince releases 3 million copies of new CD in London’s Sunday newspaper; proceeds to sell-out 21 concerts in London; over 400,000 tickets

∑ December 2007 - Radiohead releases new album “In Rainbows” independently and invites fans to pay whatever they want. According to their theory, if they earned a minimum of $2 per CD they’d be making more then if they were on a record label

∑ March 25, 2008 - R.E.M. releases new album for free on social networking site

∑ April 28, 2008 - Coldplay releases new single for free

One popular perception among many in the music community is that a good song will sell itself and in turn the artist or band will benefit. I don’t think this is true and I think marketing and promotion is most important to distinguish you from other artists.

Additionally, as a result of computer technology artists are able to record and promote themselves cheaply and independently. They don’t need to be signed to a record contract as long as the proper marketing is in place.

You will benefit greatly from a new media marketing campaign including a complete overhaul of your website in addition to the creation of profile pages on social networking sites like myspace, facebook, bebo, etc. Similarly you will benefit from having your music licensed to websites such as Pandora, a site that creates a radio stream of artists you may not have heard of that sound similar to your musical preference.

One of the biggest trends in the new music landscape is interactivity and social networking, which should be a cornerstone of any music related marketing campaign. Above all, sites should be highly interactive and fresh so people keep coming back.

Social Media and Website

1. Overhaul website.

A. Personalize it with a bio, message board, and/or guestbook
B. Update photos both live and in studio. Create photo gallery of past performances, etc.
C. Make press-kit available online
D. Provide links to CD Baby, myspace, facebook, etc.

2. Develop myspace, facebook, and blog and update regularly. Make sure social media are linked.

3. Update content on CD Baby account. Should streamline with website and social networking pages.

4. Post videos of dynamic performances on youtube. Make sure links to video exist on website and social networking pages.

5. Create html code for online fliers promoting your new album and/or future concerts you can post on social networking sites and people can copy and paste.

New Album

Put the “brakes” on the release of album until the proper marketing strategy has been defined and key elements have been put in place.

A timely release of album coinciding with prior adoption and development of social media will result in full utilization of promotional tools.

Going through with a CD release without marketing strategy presents a wasted opportunity to utilize new promotional web tools and therefore limits the impact of the release.

Performances

Consider weeding out wine shops and house parties (or at least not featuring them so heavily on your web page). It has the appearance of amateurism.

Perform at top venues only.

Focus on building (or re-building) media contacts. Send out informative and well written press releases at least three weeks prior to an event.

Work on building audience regionally. Festivals are most appropriate. Legitimate venues or corporate events are also acceptable.

Good news for PDX Music Scene

2008-04-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

OLCC grants minors access to bars with music venues

Commissioners of the Oregon Liquor Control Commission voted unanimously in favor of allowing venues that serve alcohol and host bands and other entertainment events to allow minors admittance.

The vote came April 18 during the OLCC commissioner’s monthly meeting.

The new minor posting will require venues to abide by a control plan to ensure minors are not granted access to alcohol, such as keeping minors separate from the areas alcohol is being served or limit the hours alcohol is available.

"Making sure minors are not gaining access to alcohol is a top priority," said Rudy Williams, Deputy Director. "We had a lot of support from the community and the revisions helped to address concerns raised by moderation groups. With the new minor posting, we can accommodate interest in all-ages events while holding licensees accountable if they don't follow the control plan."

The new minor posting goes into effect June 1.

April 23rd Portland, Oregon

2008-04-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

Columbia River Crossing

2008-04-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

The Great Green Bridge

At a time when politicians and business leaders are arguing over which plan best suits the new Columbia River Crossing several things remain clear. The I-5 bridge is nearly 100 years old and it produces the worst bottle-neck between Canada and Mexico. When the bridge needs to be raised it snarls traffic and wastes energy. When people are parked in six hours of traffic on their daily commute it wastes energy. Furthermore, population growth in Clark and Multnomah counties is growing steadily and it is reasonable to assume that a multipurpose bridge will ease the congestion caused from Washingtonians coming to and from Oregon to work everyday.

Lines are drawn in the sand …

The congenial approach is to suggest that no one should have their voice snubbed out by those with special interests, and there is no reason everyone can't get what they want. Our current system relies on moving vast amounts of freight throughout our interstate system so we need to expand the lanes of the highway. Similarly, we need to end our reliance on foreign fuels, have an alternative to driving, and fight climate change so the light rail option should stay also. Additionally, there are undisputable social benefits to achieve from being able to walk or ride your bicycle between Portland and Vancouver so that option should remain as well. If you can agree to those simple items (or concessions depending on whose side you're on) then the only issue now is money.

Enter: Innovation!

The green movement is rolling through America like a big bad wolf and the last hold outs to the global warming argument have seen both their straw men and straw homes toppled by the winds of change. But before leaving America for browner pastures they might consider how they frame their side of the argument for the bridge. Has anyone thought about building a green bridge? What about a 'Great Green Bridge' to rival the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco?

A green bridge offers a chance to build something truly unique to Portland and will bolster our image and economy. Furthermore, a green bridge that includes the necessary infrastructure for both commerce and commuters will save money by utilizing efficiency and common sense. We can build the bridge from recycled materials, we can have a contest for the best green design, and before we know it every blogger from PDX to Katmandu will be hyping the project. It will be something good ol' boys and green ol' boys can agree upon.

How do we pay for it?

In the 2006 Clint Eastwood film "Flags of our Fathers" heroes from the World War Two battle at Iwo Jima are schlepped around America to sell war bonds in an effort to keep the country from going bankrupt. And while I don't want to anger veterans by comparing world wars to global warming, I do want to point out American's have overcome great obstacles in the past and perhaps we can take a cue from history.

It's time we declare war on global climate change, and who better the schlep around the country selling global WARming bonds for our bridge then Al Gore himself? It's a win-win situation for all involved and another creative American solution to extreme adversity.

Here are some alternatives to building the I-5 bridge:

- banning Washingtonians from working in Oregon
- a huge water slide sending people from one side of the river to the other

Feel free to suggest more: