President Obama's Address to the Nation

I decided that I am going to do a step by step blogging account of President Obama's first address to the nation. I sure as hell better ... because I was the guy pulling for the man ever since I heard him speak at the democratic national convention.

So far I am finding it very difficult to type while trying to listen.

So ... here it goes ...

Ahem ...

Clapping ensues....

So far Brian Williams is just bragging about his private lunch with the Jesus ... err I mean the President ...

The chief justices are walking in ...

Beer supply is down to 60% ... might be a problem ... more details to come ...

First lady just walked in ... she is awesome ...

They're talking about Gary Locke ... he is my dawg ...

So far I am sooooooo happy not to see George Bush or Dick-wad-Cheney ...

Hillary Clinton just appeared to have been kissed by Rolan Burris, my sources cannot confirm or deny ...

... so far it is boring and my beer supply is down to 53%.

... I might as well explain my beer supply at this point. I just have two cans. One is almost gone.

... still waiting for Obama ... seen one too many republican faces.

"Madam Speaker"

"The president of the United States"

(lots of clapping)

I haven't seen this much clap since the last Fenbi tour!

So far Obama is looking good. Even republicans are crawling over themselves to kiss his cheek. I think I see Rolan Burris again. Smiling and happy.

I'm wondering who those two old white guys are who are escorting him?

Beer supply down to 50%.

Eye hasn't stopped twitching.

Speaker Pelosi looks hot from this angle.

Beer supply down to 48%.

Her clapping style isn't very hot.

Obama getting ready to talk ...

Obama interrupts Pelosi by accident.

Kinda funny.

It's ok because he's not Stupid George W. Bush.

Can we talk about what they are wearing ... or is that only for the Oscars?

He mentions Michelle Obama and everyone is going nuts ... so far he hasn't really said anything ...

... he has come here to speak frankly to all Americans

... giving details of the recession ... personal stories ...

... says "We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before."

I am noting to myself, the weird things I do when my girlfriend is out of town ...

"It's time to take responsibility for our future once more."

He's now talking about how to pull ourselves out of this mess ... talking about how we import more oil than ever before ... our healthcare is a mess ... and we can't stop piling up debt ... an era where short term gains are more important than the long term .. "

It's hard to keep up.

But what I can say is that he is saying everything I want to hear.

Beer supply down to 45%.

But in a nutshell ... he is talking about actually looking at the long term instead of short term gains ...

... it's about time ...

People are clapping because the American Economic Recovery Act is now law ... republicans still deuche bags ...

The stimulus money is going to broadband, mass transit, and teachers ... not bad. Tax credits for parents sending kids to college ...

Obama is talking about skepticism ... camera cuts to Joke McCain ...

"Nobody Messes With Joe"

He gets standing ovation ... I dig.

Mentions recovery.gov ... where American's can go to see where each dollar goes ...

Talking about the credit crisis ... hopefully he says he is going to annihilate credit card companies that engage in predatory lending ...

... he's talking about how people are afraid to loan and credit has dried up ... is going to restart lending by:

1. Creating new lending fund to help car loans, new business loans, home loans ... oh my!

2. Launched a housing plan that will help responsible families to lower interest rates ... the average family can save nearly $2,000 per year

3. Act with the full force of the federal govt to ensure the major banks have enough confidence to make loans ... and if a bank threatens to fail, the govt will hold those at the top accountable

.... still nothing about rewriting predatory credit card laws ... course maybe that's just me?

beer supply down to 35%

"CEO's wont be able to use taxpayer money to pad their payrolls or disappear on a private jet ...."

... he's still trying to beat it in people's heads that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure ...

Obama is such a breath of fresh air ... he is not lying ... he is not saying stupid shit ... he is being honest and open!

God damnit, it is great to be an American once again!

"It's not about helping banks, it's about helping people."

... I wish people would stop clapping ...

... beer supply down to 32%

Asking congress to reform our outdated regulatory system!!!!!!!

Hell yeah!!!!

Time to punish shortcuts and abuse!!!

Still trying to beat reality into the skull of "Joe the Plumber"

... camera pans to views of smug republicans ...

... he's making inferences to Lincoln, Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Kennedy, etc

Budget will invest in three areas:

1. Energy
2. Health Care
3. Prostitution ...

errr wait ... I mean ... Education!

In referencing the green industry "It is time for America to lead again"

Or was it ... LEED again? har har har

* This is starting to feel like a bad idea because I didn't realize how long his speech would be.

*** He asked congress to send him a bill putting a cap on carbon emissions and encourages green energy ... he is the ******* man!

-> On the auto industry ....

"We wont protect them from their own bad practices"

Amen!

"The nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it."

That is encouraging ... I like where he is going with that...

-> On healthcare ...

"By the end of the year it could cause 1.5 million americans to lose their homes"

No sh** mang ... I am 27 and have never had health coverage

"We can't afford to put healthcare reform on hold"

He claims to have done more for healthcare in 30 days, then had been done in the past decade ... true that.

Beer supply down to 20%

There he goes ... he said the budget invests in healthcare reform that encourages prevention!!! Like I said before ... an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Mentioned Teddy Roosevelt tried to start healthcare reform a hundred years ago ... said it wont wait another week ... plans to work on it next week ...

on the third promise ... we are going to expand on education ...

3/4 of the fastest growing professionals require more than a high school diploma ... half of Americans don't have a degree ... half of Americans don't graduate college ... I'm sorta jealous of kids who are 14 years old right about now ...

Claims to have already made college affordable to 7 million more Americans

"Dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It's not just quitting on yourself, it's quitting on your country!"

* By 2020 America will have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world

He knows the price of tuition is higher than ever ... if people volunteer a year of their time he asks congress to send him a bi-partisan piece of legislation bearing the name's of Orin Hatch and Edward Kennedy that will help people pay for college

I guess ...

... I didn't really get that one

Beer supply down to 10%

... he encourages better parenting ...

"Responsibility for our children begins at home"

"We'll eliminate the no-bid contracts that have wasted billions in Iraq"

"We will finally end the tax breaks for corporations that send our jobs overseas"

"We will end the tax breaks for the wealthiest 2% Americans. If your family earns less than 250,000 per year you will not see your taxes increased a SINGLE dime, Bitch!"

I added the bitch!

The recovery plan includes a tax CUT for 95% of working families.

Beer supply down to 5%

"For 7 years we have been a nation at war, mo longer will we hide its price."

He just said the military has our unyielding support ... loud applause.

Beer supply: .00000001%

He plans to raise the pay, and give our veterans expanded healthcare ... how is he going to balance the budget again?

"Living our values makes us safer and stronger"

"The United State of America does not torture, we can make that commitment here tonight."

Jesus - was the past 8 years a bad dream?

I just checked my bank balance ... alllllright

Sorry ... I went to pee and never made it back to my computer because I lazed out on the couch ...

I'm eating some more of Dave's Killer Bread ...

Admiring our country, our president, and thinking about going to the gym ...